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Tuesday, 20 March 2007

I (accidentally) ATE MOLDY TOAST

i'm no idiot, but let me assure you, this was not ordinary mold. no my friends, this mold was SMART. maddd smart.

1) MOLD SMELLS. usually, you can tell bread has gone bad because when you open the bag a distinct odor will attack your sinus. THIS MOLD DID NOT SMELL. and of course, after i toasted the bread it just smelled like delicious crispy buttered toast.

2) MOLD IS GREEN. again, smart mold. it hid itself IN the slide of bread. i only noticed the BRIGHT GREEN patch as i swallowed my last bite of delicious buttery toast dipped in runny egg yolk. oops!

3) MOLD TASTES LIKE RUNNY EGG YOLK.

the end.

p.s. and my (verbal) chinese is going to the shittttts. my (written) chinese is already there! i might have to start hanging out with the chinese community at msft but they're all like 40 x(

Tuesday, 13 March 2007

hello my name is BRACE FACE and my mouth looks like this: +++

solitary confinement here i come. in other news...

sometimes i wonder how much time MIKE spends looking for videos like this one:

NO ONE is allowed to dance like this. EVER. except for me. serve.... play ping-pong!!

Sunday, 11 March 2007

MIC CHECK ONE

uhh wtf

Friday, 09 March 2007

GOOD NEWS
[courtesy of MIKE]

turns out seattle DOESN'T have the highest ratio of single males : single females. BUT THEY'RE CLOSE.
man is miami looking good now or what!

Saturday, 03 March 2007

GOOD NEWS
had my follow up with the doctor this week, and he downgraded my minor muscle tear to a strain of my calf muscle plus a contusion of one of my knee ligaments. no surgery, and i'm relieved! i should make a full recovery within 4 weeks and be back in the gym in no time. and boy do i ever need it, been stacking up the pounds with all these sicknesses and injuries keeping me from building up a regular workout schedule.
as prescribed by the doc, i went in for my first physical therapy session this week also. guys: if you have a physical therapy center in your gym, you should really try to get up there. you know those movies where theres the hot girls attending to you? yep, physical therapy room. unfortunately my therapist is a middle-aged lady, but she sure is great with her hands!
you ever have these problems that are just driving you nuts, but when you try to show people they sorta just... go away? it's like your pain is playing games with you. so that's what happened to me at my session. i finish describing my situation - where it hurts, what causes it to hurt, how im lacking power off my toes, etc. etc.
"alright, let's take a look at this leg of yours now" sure lady, whatever you want. resist your hand pushing my foot down you say? well i can't do that because... well look at that! suddenly my foot is strong as an ox although it normally hurts like a bad word when i walk.. i swear! so we go through maybe 4 or 5 tests which i seem to pass with flying colors and now the lady's wondering if i'm one of those skeevy guys with good medical insurance that just came up here to fetch a cute therapist. sigh.
BUT THEN my therapist has me lay down on my back to do some stretch exercises. the minute she puts my leg vertical BAM the pain just goes off the charts! i am at the same time relieved and in need of something to bite down on. we found pain! that's right take that leg injury, you can run from my physical therapist but you can't hide from gravity. VICTORY!
followed by a huge list of stretch exercises i'm supposed to do 3 times a day. i think besides eating, there are very few daily routines in my life that i do 3 times a day. this might be a challenge.

NEXT WEEK: i am getting my braces back on. omg i'm so excited i can't wait